Hi, I'm Christy. I'm 24 years young. I love to cosplay and eat chinese food. Oh. And I am overly obsessed with OUAT and Star Wars. ♥

 

But according to you, I’m stupid. I’m useless. I can’t do anything right….

I want to cry until I can’t cry anymore. Fuck this.

Why do I feel trapped. Somebody needs to make me feel alive and shatter down my walls that I have been forced to build up. I feel stuck. This is not where I wanted to be in life. I thought I did…. But now, I don’t want it. I don’t need to feel like I am being suffocated. Nobody deserves that. I deserve more.

Why do I feel trapped. Somebody needs to make me feel alive and shatter down my walls that I have been forced to build up. I feel stuck. This is not where I wanted to be in life. I thought I did…. But now, I don’t want it. I don’t need to feel like I am being suffocated. Nobody deserves that. I deserve more.

Pearl by Katy Perry

She is a pyramid
But with him she’s just a grain of sand
This love’s too strong like mice and men
Squeezing out the life that should be let in
She was a hurricane-cane-cane-cane
But now she’s just a gust of wind
She used to set the sails of a thousand ships
Was a force to be reckoned with
She could be a statue of liberty
She could be a Joan of Arc
But he’s scared of the light that’s inside of her
So he keeps her in the dark
Oh, she used to be a pearl…
OhhYeah, she used to rule the world…Ohh can’t believe she’s become a shell of herself
‘Cause she used to be a pearl
She was unstoppable
Moved fast just like an avalanche
But now she’s stuck deep in cement
Wishing that they’d never ever met
She could be a statue of liberty
She could be a Joan of Arc
But he’s scared of the light that’s inside of her
So he keeps her in the dark
Oh, she used to be a pearl…
OhhYeah, she used to rule the world…Ohh can’t believe she’s become a shell of herself
‘Cause she used to be a pearl

Do you know that there’s a way out,there’s a way out
there’s a way out
there’s a way out
You don’t have to be held down
Be held down be held down
Be held down
‘Cause I used to be a shell
Yeah, I let him rule my world
My world, ohh, yeah
But I woke up and grew strong
And I can still go on
And no one can take my pearl
You don’t have to be shell,
No, You’re the one that rules your world, ohh
You are strong and you’ll learn that you can still go on
And you’ll always be a pearl
She is unstoppable

"I just want to scream. It’s how I feel every damn day. Sitting at the dinner table, screaming, and yet my lips never move. Nobody can hear me. I lay in bed at night, screaming at anything and everything. But again, no sound comes out. When I am out with my friends. I sit here, silently screaming. Nothing seems to be getting any better. I’m so sick of being the optimistic one. Why can’t anyone hear me.."

If I could change the world overnight
There’d be no such thing as goodbye
You’d be standing right where you were
And we’d get the chance we deserve
Try to deny it as much as you want
But in time our feelings will show
‘Cause sooner or later
We’ll wonder why we gave up
The truth is everyone knows

Almost, almost is never enough
We were so close to being in love 
If I would have known that you wanted me, the way I wanted you
Then maybe we wouldn’t be two worlds apart
But right here in each other’s arms
And we almost, we almost knew what love was
But almost is never enough…

So We Remain
Written by: Me

Everything about that moment made perfect sense. For the first time in my life, I felt more at peace than ever before. No form of touching was even necessary. This was beyond sexual. We just sat there in blissful silence. He would occasionally look over at me, letting his mind wander. I caught myself doing the same, not being able to control it. He was so perfectly imperfect. The way he sat was calm and collective. He sat so close to me, barely touching his leg with mine. My body and mind were racing with electric-like currents. I felt my hand moving closer to his, longing for our fingers to intertwine. Suddenly, I woke up. Breathless. And hopelessly hoping for a chance to be the one he woke up to. But for now, I lay my head back on my pillow. And look up at my ceiling, wondering why it had to be this way. Fear is what consumes me. So we shall sit and just remain what we are.

So We Remain
Written by: Me

Everything about that moment made perfect sense. For the first time in my life, I felt more at peace than ever before. No form of touching was even necessary. This was beyond sexual. We just sat there in blissful silence. He would occasionally look over at me, letting his mind wander. I caught myself doing the same, not being able to control it. He was so perfectly imperfect. The way he sat was calm and collective. He sat so close to me, barely touching his leg with mine. My body and mind were racing with electric-like currents. I felt my hand moving closer to his, longing for our fingers to intertwine. Suddenly, I woke up. Breathless. And hopelessly hoping for a chance to be the one he woke up to. But for now, I lay my head back on my pillow. And look up at my ceiling, wondering why it had to be this way. Fear is what consumes me. So we shall sit and just remain what we are.